My Son Sviatoslav – Skeld – The Student of Kiev and the warrior of Ukraine died in fight on the 3rd of October 2014
Eternal memory of our sunny Svitoslav,
With love and honor dedicated by inconsolable father.
Sviatoslav – this is the first world I hear when I wake up after awful dark dream in the morning, starting from that dark day – 6th of October 2014. He died in fight on the 3rd of October 2014 but the 6th of October is the day when I heard for the first time that my son is deadly insured in Donetsk airport and died. That’s why not the 3rd but the 6th of October became forever the darkest day of my life.
“Sviatoslav” – the word I hear from inside of me. Is that an inside voice, or injured conscience, or an Angel talks to me, and the pain again drop me deep down into oblivion of grief and understanding that my son never knock again into the doors of my house, or never again enters my house – so tall and slender, he never again will hug us all with his strong hands.
How long I’ve been waiting for our meeting in the end of October, when he promised to take several days off and back from the war to home. He became a man, and this used to be our first frank man’s conversation as equal. It hasn’t happened because it meant to be so by some higher power. Now I’m talking to him watching his bright silver-blue eyes from his picture on the old servant in the main room, where we were meeting together with whole family. Near the picture always stands a candle with never-ending fire and white chrysanthemums – the sign of far away dreamlike Japan, language and culture of which he was studying in the University.
His guitar, books, favorite shirts, jackets and boots – all are on their places and are waiting for their owner to return from the far away trip, where he leave for…ever.
When we’re on graveyard together with his brothers in arms – warriors of DUK Right Sector and together with his friends from Kiev, Kharkiv, Poltava, while burying him, I heard a lot of new things about my son, so new that it opened the true sight for me and for his mother of his great and bright face – the face of true grown warrior, the defender of home and Motherland, which I couldn’t see earlier under the student’s young features of his face.
All parents in the world are similar in one – we often see in our grown children the same kids they were before, which we’ve used to teach how to talk, or how to walk, or how to learn the world. For all of us our children are still kids and first of all are just kids.
That’s why when on 7th of October his commander make a quick-talk about my son’s achievement as soldier, steady and with some sort of reproach against me, he talk about my son like about one regular lieutenant, and I answered: “For me he was just a son”.
Then, during those horrible and tough days, when I was carrying the son’s body to Kiev and then burying him, I promised to save the one thing left from my son, I promised to save memory of him and of his soul – so Bright, Honorable and Loving, which is with us now, and with his war-friends, and with his lovely Motherland Ukraine, for the protection of which, I suppose, he came to this world.
If I could write music, which my son liked so much, I’d create a requiem for his spirit. If I could paint, I’d make a painting for him… but I can’t. The one thing I still can – to write, and I am writing the word about Sviatoslav, in which I want to keep the memory of him, while the conscience with me and I have some strength in my hands.
I want this word to serve not only for the memory of our dear son Sviatoslav, but for all young warriors which gave their lives for the Honor and Freedom of Ukraine in this war against Russia, for the right to make our own choices and live as our soul and our freedom tells us to.
My fate is hard but honorable to be the son of the hero and the father of the hero, because I’m not a hero but a simple man as the most of humanity. I was working as a doctor on Maidan, but I didn’t go as a volunteer to war, like my son did. I tried to keep our family together with all my strength. I feared that in case of my death there will be no one to feed and protect them. Except this I clearly knew that even if I’ll go to fight, my son will leave his study and will go after me, the same way he went to Maidan in Kharkiv when he heard that I went to Maidan in Kiev. He’s the last man in our family, last heir of our family name, so I tried to keep him safe. But it not destined… He went through all my tries to stop him. I ask Ukraine and Ukrainian people for forgiveness, but I was usual father who tried to protect his only son. I wanted to go to this war, but first of all I wanted to find safe place for the people I love. But I wasn’t able to achieve that goal. The flaming heart of my son, as the heart of Danko by Gorky, pushed him to stand against enemies protecting the Motherland, against my will to keep him safe and stay at home. My son also wanted me to stay on home guard near mother and sick grandmother waiting for him. He wanted the same as me to keep our family safe. But doing so I think he didn’t understand how hard it was to work in civil medicine and keeping in mind that my dear son every day risks his life. The beautiful face of his mother changed so much from tough thinks and nights without sleep. It was so hard for us to wait for his return. He went, but I stayed, because I know that two deaths or hard injuries will destroy whole family. I stayed in Kiev working and waiting, fighting hard feelings and thinking that in nearest feature I’ll take my family here to me and give them everything they need and than I change my son on the battlefield. I didn’t make it in time, I couldn’t make it… Despite all those bad things I heard so far from people around about my son and about me helpless of keeping him near, I can’t blame my son because I was in his age once, and I understand that I’ve done the same choose in those circumstances he did. Young people think less about the family and believe in their immortality, don’t expect death to come, instead of older people. That’s why young people are most powerful and heroic soldiers ever.
Sviatoslav was from ancient soldier’s family, what connect three different branches from the lands of old country Rzeczpospolita. Our blood connects Ukrainian, Polish and Lithuanian people. The most of them were warriors and because of that there is no mystery in the way that my son chooses for himself – the choice to be the Warrior.
But in this part of my word I will tell only about those ancestors my son knew or memorized.
He was inspired with his grandfather and my father Oleksander Petrovich Mogilny, the soldier of Second World War, which was fighting in two wars to be exact: with Germany and with Japan. Japan – the country in culture and language of which my son was so interested in. My father went to war in 1941 from the village Vysoky near Kharkiv when he was only 17 years old. First his war in Germany he finished in Keningsberg, later he was fighting in Manchuria. With honorable victory he came back home at age of 22. He had only 6 awards, but all was achieved in combat. He has 2 ordens and 4 medals. My son was proud of his grandfather and was thinking that he’s older from his grandfather for 2 year, when time comes for him to go for his own war. I don’t want to remember what happened and why my family name has been changed to Gorbenko. The new family name was ancient too and deserved to be proud of. “Gorbenko” is my mother’s family name. This name has old Cossack’s military roots, in which every man has been a soldier and every man fights for his Motherland, unfortunately in times of tsarist autocracy. Archives saved the very small part about their military service in Khmelnitsky army, or in Russian army near Borodino, or during Crimean and Balkan wars XIX c. My grandfather Konstantin Eliseyewich Gorbenko and two his brothers also fight in Second World War, where one of them meets his death.
At same time our Polish and Lithuania ancestors were serving in royal military in times of Khmelnytsky, so our family by some strange way connects children of ancient enemies. That’s why in our house we always were proud of not only Ukrainian Cossacks, but also Polish and Lithuanian knights. We never tried to divide them because there is no possible way to divide ancestors. That’s why my son was growing up in love to all those cultures and people, the blood of which was in his veins. It could be strange, but when Putin came with destructive fire to our lands and thousands of his dogs – Russian fascists came to have bloody feasts here; Polish and Lithuania demonstrated the biggest support and solidarity. It like all our ancestors came together in unity and stand ground against all those evil from the east. Sviatoslav became the living proof of this unity.
When all necessary tasks connected with my family movement to Kiev will be done, I wanted to go to our Polish-Lithuanian-Ukrainian battalion together with my son. I hoped that up to that time he finished the university. I never believed that the war could end fast, and I know that my son as an officer with knowledge of four languages (English, French, Japanese and Polish) could be very useful for Ukrainian army. One year left for him to study in Kiev University by T. Shevchenko. But it not destined…
This summer he completed his military education in Kharkiv Institute of Armored Forces at National Technical University “Kharkiv Polytechnic Institute”, where he got recommendation documents for second lieutenant. Shoulder straps he was going to get after 4-th course in Institute of Philology in Kiev University.
Kiev – it’s Sviatoslav fate and his way. I understood that after he has gone.
The thing is that my son was talented historian. It was another gift from the God my son had. He had incredible memory for dates, names and actions, he was easy learner, despite that he went to school from 5 years. Poltava schools never seen his achievements on historical Olympiads, the final exam from history resulted in higher score: 200. That’s why after he finished lyceum, he got invitations from two best Kiev Universities: Taras Shevchenko National University of Kyiv and National University of “Kyiv-Mohyla Academy”. Thank you Kyiv for that… Later other two universities of Kharkiv responded: H. S. Skovoroda Kharkiv National Pedagogical University and Vasily Karazin Kharkiv National University. The last one was historical faculty of Poltava Pedagogical Institute.
Back then it was so painful to refuse Kiev universities offer, but Sviatoslav has only fifteen years (it was 2010) and we couldn’t offer him expensive capital life.
We picked two Kharkiv universities because of two reasons: the quality of knowledge and quick transport connections with Poltava, where we lived then. Also at that time in Kharkiv on higher courses in Kharkiv Aerospace University were studying our daughter, Sviatoslav’s sister Iryna, so they could help each other. Sviatoslav started his study in two different universities simultaneously: on the English-Japanese philological faculty of the Skovoroda National University on day basis, and on historical faculty of Karazin Kharkiv National University in absentia. During family meeting we agreed that every specialist in modern world must be educated in English language and some other, so we choose Japanese. After that the specialist must go into professional skills. The historical gift of my son was very obvious, so, even with no future for this profession in Ukraine, together with his mother we decided to give him the possibility to gain historical diploma and to encourage his talents. It was hard for him to study in those two universities simultaneously but he never mentions it to me. This way, studying hardly during nights, he stepped to the third course, where he joined one more school – military academy. Some lessons were lectured in different universities at same time so it was hard to be everywhere, especially on Saturday (Skovoroda National University and Military Academy have lessons on Saturday). So Sviat took academic vacation from historical faculty of Karazin University for some time to be able to continue languages and military study, which was interesting for him. Along with all these problems he has, he found half time work for himself, because he knew about complicated financial situation of the family. So he started to get his first money by himself. When I discovered that, I not restricted his work but asked him to concentrate on studying. He was growing on my eyes, but he has only seventeen and a half years. I secretly proud of my son, but loudly I couldn’t said a word. Now I see that I used to tell him about how proud I am…
As meant to be after three years he came back to Kyiv as a student and as a warrior. Spring 2014, I transferred him from Kharkiv to Shevchenko National University of Kyiv where he joined Right Sector and went to the war. First he had his trainings in military training camp “Desna”, later he joined fifth battalion of Voluntary Ukrainian Campus of Right Sector.
When Maidan started in Kharkiv he joined self-defense forces without any intension or interest to fill in necessary documents, so we have no choice but to transfer my son from Kharkiv to Kyiv. He was taking part in real actions, which turned into most dramatic part of modern history of Ukraine. Then he took part in numerous battles against bandits from Belgorod and bandits from group “Oplot”, and other Putin’s dogs. I and his mother with grief were looking the news about my son where all those Russian Putinists mercenaries were throwing stones into my son. But Sviatoslav was silent for all the pain he was living through. He didn’t want us to know all that. But I discovered the truth and did all possible to transfer my son from those fights. Kharkiv police were doing nothing to protect them! I didn’t believe that my son could freely continue his study in Kharkiv after taking active part in demonstrations on Kharkiv Maidan. I’m very thankful for understanding that Kyiv people honored us and for giving my son chance to continue his study. My son again used to work hard during numerous nights without sleep to catch the study program. By doing so Sviatoslav became Kyiv student and this way was the way where the fate directed him earlier. He meets new friends. It was like life turned to right direction now, but the black clouds of smoke were gathering on the East borders of the country, like in times of Kyiv Rus’, raising our eyes to face old enemy. The war against Putin’s Russia started. With each day notices from Ukraine’s east border becoming worse and worse. We’re waiting for war proclamation, but instead that the government named the war with the word “ATO” and instead of general mobilization and war preparation by government, people started to create battalions of volunteers to fight Russian invaders. Something strange, horrible and paradoxical was happening in the country. The best of our people went to fight without preparation, without even weapon and necessary equipment. Continuous betrayal for some warriors from false words of enemies, for others from lies of Ukrainian military headquarters with their stupid commands was resulting in deaths. The whole world was watching what is happening in Ukraine quietly, except Poland and Lithuania. Those countries together with Ukraine raised the alarm. But I saw what I suppose have seen all other Ukrainians, I saw how our warriors were betrayed by numerous Russian agents in our government and in the military headquarters. We lost so many good people because of them.
I told my son, told his friends and will told now that we can’t fight those Russian bloody mercenaries from the East while we have so many enemy spies and betrayers here in Kyiv, which constantly backstab our brave warriors. I hope that my words will be heard by Dmitriy Yarosh, Semen Semenchenko, Andriy Biletskiy and other commanders-patriots.
Unfortunately they didn’t hear my words…But constant existence of the betrayal from the back and paradoxical refusal of calling the war by word “WAR” stopped a huge quantity of brave men, which were ready to stand for the Motherland, but not ready to gave up their families if it’s known that someone will shot them from the back or will lead them to enemy trap.
My son was other. He was like other heroes, which with their holy blood protects us and our borders, with huge loses standing against enemy waves, while some people from military headquarters giving incompetent commands or just betray our sons. So he went to war, neglecting the danger to be betrayed or to fall into hypocritical policy of official representatives, which up to this moment are unable to recognize the Voluntary Ukrainian Campus of Right Sector to be the effective part of regular Ukraine’s army. Those officials don’t do this despite all achievements and heroism, all loses of this campus…
Sviatoslav knew about our vision of modern war, he knew how painful for his family is every loss of our warrior on the Front, how much of respect we have to the families which lost their members in this war, so we didn’t want for him to go to the war right in this moment. We begged him to finish his study, because in his age he couldn’t get his shoulder straps as military officer until he finished last year of education and become a bachelor in Kyiv. We wanted him to improve his Japanese because there are true professionals teaching those subjects in Kyiv such as Professor Ivan Petrovich Bondarenko and Japanese professor Egava-san, talented young teacher Yulia Zamorska and others. I tell this because I spoke to those people and with high interest I read book of professor Bondarenko. I wanted for Slava to accomplish this good school. In my mind I already accepted the military choice of my son but I wanted to him to finish learning, I wanted to him to be complete professional in subject he choose. Then his knowledge might be more useful for Ukrainian military and for the Voluntary Ukrainian Campus. But enemies were approaching and my son told then: “Father, they will not give me a single chance to complete my study. I need to go while they are far from Kyiv”. I couldn’t agree with him, I was insisting on continuation of his education while he still has time, I wanted him to be fully prepared to this horrible great war. That’s why he went secretly from me, he went silently so I couldn’t stop him. I can’t say that his choice to fight for holy cause was wrong, but I’m so regretful that 17 of August he went secretly from me and his mother, haven’t told about his decision anyone and left only the letter…
I waited for him in Kyiv 18 of August, but he moved to military training center “Desna”, where he signed up as a volunteer to “DUK” Right Sector. We were living horrible painful three weeks of unknown while searching any information about him, because he couldn’t call from there. With help of my friends I found him 9 of September 2014, right before his departure to the warfare in that training center I mentioned. It was my unforgettable last meeting with him alive, my unforgettable last talk to him… I did what I could asking him to continue his education in University, I told that it could ruin his military obligations freedom, because as student he had all rights to continue his study and military academy was giving additional year of freedom from military obligations, but if he refuse he could lose those rights. But he wasn’t listening to me and became the volunteer soldier of DUK. All lists of those volunteers were kept in secrecy, so after some time military institutions would be looking for him. There might be a lot of problems connected to his choice so I asked my son and his commander again to postpone the decision and give my son chance to finish his study, and only after that to join the battalion.
His commander ask Sviatoslav for the final decision and my son told something like that: “Father, they are going tomorrow. We’re learning together those three weeks. They are my friends, how could I study while they are fighting there without me? We were together in training center so we will be together on the battlefield. Anyway don’t thing that there are any better prewar training camp than this one. I learned my lessons well, and I couldn’t get any better friends in any other camps, only here. What will happen if later I will need to go for a war and I’ll miss my friends, and you will fell sorrow that you stopped me now? We all are friends and we’re ready to cover each other”.
Then for first time in my life I feel the man’s wisdom in my son, the wisdom I understood after that dark 6-th of October. “Father, – said my son to me then, – help me. I know you. You can do anything. I will not be able to come for some time. Please, solve all those paper work in university and in military unit. Later, when I get a vacation, I’ll come too”. But he didn’t get chance to come home…
Maybe after what I’ve done all other parents, the whole world, will blame me, because they kept their children alive, but I couldn’t do anything after the meeting with my son, after our conversation… I let him go, and gave him the talisman with holy icon, which I always carrying with me. The talisman was inherited from my grandfather, who got victory in the war, and later I had it on Maidan. I closed the talisman on his neck and gave him my blessing. Actually in my family there no custom to turn warriors from their path, so fighting rational thoughts I did what I used too, according to the old custom of my family, what I heard by my heart. He was so happy back then… I understood that I did something right and useful for him, something I never did for him before.
It was painful to say him goodbye, to let him go to the war. I ask him about only one thing:
“My son, you must come back with victory. Please don’t disappoint me before your mother. You must come back.”
He tight me strongly and said: “I will not disappoint you. I will come back.”
“We’ll be victorious!” – said I and my son simultaneously.
Now he’s not with me or with those who truly loved him and respect him, I know that those words we said were true and Sviatoslav’s blood were shed for our holy Ukrainian land with a reason – so WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS in this war and Putin’s Russia will fall where it came from, it’ll fall back to the hell.
There were many different people, which were telling me that Sviatoslav did heroic action and that he’s a hero. Among them were his brothers in arms from DUK, inhabitants of Kyiv, Kharkiv, Lviv. I don’t know what all those people know about my son, but I know for sure that my son is hero and I will tell what I know.
I don’t know much about his death. The only think I know about is that criminal medical expertise tells that he got deadly injured into the neck as a result of Russian tank fire. His comrades told that in that horrible day of “truce” on 3 of October 2014 was another crazy attack from Russian invaders onto airport in Donetsk. There were fighting together Ukrainian regular military forces and soldiers of DUK Right Sector of honorable 5th battalion against invaders. Sorry If I didn’t mention other Ukrainian forces, which were there that day but I didn’t know about them.
There were a lot of injured people, a lot of people which were asphyxiated by smoke. Sviatoslav together with his comrade were saving people, which were unable to move. But when they get to another one to save – the tank fired. All three of them fell from the shot. Sviatoslav and his comrade died, but injured man they were carrying was alive. That was the story I heard about my son. I’m happy for the man they were carrying, if he came back to health and is alive. That means for me that those two brave boys accomplish fully their military obligations.
As for me, I have another point of view about heroism of my son.
He is a hero not only because of his heroic deed, but also strong bravery and faithfulness, sincere and conscious self sacrifice for the Motherland, for it freedom and honor, for all other people of Ukraine. He had a beautiful future, was young and had love in his heart, he was finishing the university with promising profession, and had no obligation by law to join the army and fight until he finishes his education. There was proclaimed time of “truce”, so he had all possible reasons to change his mind and stay, but he went rejecting all accomplishments he got so far, rejecting even his life… He went to protect our borders from sworn enemy, who despite all possible truces and deals, who stubbornly invading our land by killing and injuring our people. I think in this conscious adult sacrificing is the truth of Sviatoslav’s heroism. This is what connects him with other Sky Hundred Heroes and with all other heroes of Ukrainian-Russian war with very strange name “ATO”.
We all the people, we all the same as parents, in some part we all are egoists because we always see in our children only children. For us they are our happiness, our pride, our accomplishments. Sviat with his short bright life and death, like a flash, tough me of wisdom and opened my eyes to the truth: this way of thinking is wrong. I want with my words to satisfy people like we are, people which lost their heroic children, or which just lost their lovely children, children which have gone to God before their parents.
Our children are coming to us as greater joy from the God, granting us the possibility to talk with them, to teach them life. But they are personalities that came to this land not only for us, but also for others, even for unknown people, for the Motherland, for the humanity and for the God. They are our little and sometimes so naive kids, but they already have immortal souls and spirits. Sometimes their spirits are higher and cleaner than our own. These spirits guide them through their life without mistakes, guide them the way they could accomplish their great mission in this life, the mission given by a God, not for only our (their physical parents) good, but also for the happiness and good of all other people and for native land. They came to help the people (not only to us), to teach the people and sometimes to teach us, parents, of their wisdom and knowledge. Our task is not lie only in raising them by teaching them, but also to see the time when to exchange places and start learning from them. At least we must never interfere with their way of truth.
When we buried our son on 9 of October, one good man told me few simple words: “Now there in the heaven spirits of our ancestors are gathering, spirits of heroes from times of ancient Rus’. There are knights, cossacks, heroes of UPA, Sky Hundred Heroes and heroes died during ATO. All them together gathering to form a shield for our native land Ukraine, they becoming the heaven battalion, which helping us to guard our land. Sviatoslav joined them now because God needs pure warriors”. I agreed with him, because our dear friends and relatives never leave us alone in time of trouble, they like guards…
“He went to Heaven, to ancestors” – said one Cossack from 4th hundred known by me from Maidan. Yes, he gone to join his ancestors on heaven and help us guard our Ukraine from there. But before he gone, he lightened my life for 19 years of his sunny life.
And now I’m going through endless pain and every morning I’m whispering before the prayer: “Thank you, God, thank you my wife for 19 springs. Thank you, my son”.
Tuesday, the 4th of November 2014.
Нині 40 днів по смерті Святослава. За його душу відправлена Свята Меса в Санктуарії Святої Богородиці Ченстоховської на Ясній Гурі і в церкві Св. Петра і Павла в Києві. Дякуємо всім, хто молився з нами за спасіння душі нашого сина.
Dzisiaj mija 40 dzień po śmierci Swiatoslawa. Msze Święte odprawione w jego intencji przez Sanktuarium Matki Bożej Częstochowskiej na Jasnej Górze oraz przez cerkiew św. Piotra i Pawła w Kijowie. Dziękujemy wszystkim, którzy modlili się dziś z nami za Duszę naszego syna.
Pamiętaj, Boże, o naszych zmarłych braciach i siostrach, którzy zasnęli z nadzieją zmartwychwstania, i o wszystkich, którzy w Twojej łasce odeszli z tego świata. Dopuść ich do oglądania Twojej światłości.
(II Modlitwa Eucharystyczna)
